Clean Slate

 Here we go....🤞🏼🤞🏼

A New Years Reflection: The Great Pause

That’s how I feel about how this year has played out since March.  A great pause.  A fermata.  Holding pattern.  Just wait.  Stop.  Don’t.  Not yet.  Later.   Not sure about that.   Have to wait.   Later on.  Who knows?  Should I?  Can I?  Is it safe?  Mask up.  Wash up.  Give up.

It’s true....things could be worse.  SO much worse.  I am safe, I am secure, I am home, I am healthy, I am solvent, I am retired, I have conveniences, I am near family and friends, I am healthy, I am comfortable being alone, I am going to be ok. 

I can continue to paint, and walk, and listen to my stories and connect with people virtually while I wait.  

But I am waiting.  Waiting to move about freely and unencumbered.  To live with less restrictions and limitations.   To be able to travel again.  To visit with people.   To sing and perform.  To plan for the future...and follow through with them.   To drink coffee in a cafe and a meal in a restaurant.   To go to a movie....oh, God, to go to a movie in a theatre.  Love music or a play.  To continue my plans for retirement.

To smell the briny ocean and feel the heat of the sun on my face in San Diego.   To experience life in London with Wayne and his family.   To spend time with Deed and Brenda.  To rehearse in Rod’s basement twice a week.   To fly.  To “road trip”.  

To be less obsessed with daily newscasts and Covid updates and being self-isolated and being so mindful of maintaining my mental health and hand washing and masking up.

 But next year won’t involve sphincter-slamming inducing attention to Donald Trump and will involve daily increases in vaccinations and warmth and light days and hope.  

So let the cliches begin....”light at the end of the tunnel”, “better days ahead”, “beginning of the end”, “thing will get better”, “count your blessings”, “could be worse”, “we’re all in this together”, “round the corner”. 

I am choosing to be hopeful in the vaccine, grateful in my fortune and patient in my waiting.  

 

A Covid Christmas

Well, it’s Christmas Eve.  Instead of celebrating in San Diego, I am in Saskatoon,for the first time in 7 or 8 years, following Covid protocols, so not even in Bredenbury!   It’s another solitary Christmas...which is a sign of the times.   Here’s to better days ahead.   

    A Zoom Christmas Day

 

A Meals On Wheels delivery from Lynn ❤️

  

More Good News

 

Here We Go 🤞🏻🙏🏼👍🏼😌

First Dose Of Optimism: Documenting A Historic Day

Finally.  A secure beacon of hope to focus on to ease this waiting and unending sense of hopelessness.  It will still take months, but I finally feel like the beginning of the end is in sight.  It’s going to be a rough next few months, but I am filled with cautious optimism and a renewed sense of hope as of today.  Thank God for science, rational minds and patiently focusing on the long game.  

Can It Be?

 This was announced today and the world seems to be rejoicing.  At least, a beacon of hope seems to be on the horizon.

It is a nice counter to the weather.   This weekend brought a blizzard with 35 cm of snow.  Just as bad as the 2007 storm.   Never happier to be retired and isolating with nowhere to go any time soon! 

First Step To Course Correction

Around 10:30 am, it became official.   Biden took Pennsylvania and victory was announced.  It seems like the world has taken a long awaited exhale and can seemingly now relax a little.   I know I certainly do.  This was much more than “just” electing a new President.   It was about character, decency and humanity.  

One small step...

I have found myself to be very anxious this week over the stupid, American election.   They voted on Tuesday.   It is late Friday night and still no winner has been declared although, finally, tonight it looks like Biden will take it.   But it has been so close.   So disappointingly close.   I fear our southern neighbors may be in for a rougher couple of months than need be while Trump throws his temper tantrum, stirs the civil unrest and creates unnecessary havoc and bedlam before he is removed from office.     This has created such unnecessary stress and drama on the world stage and the stench of it drifts everywhere and sullies daily life, even though we are indirectly effected.  I had hope, but little faith, that he would be removed and a more rational, mature person take over.   Even though it is not official, it is looking favorable, and I am feeling more hopeful this evening than I have since Tuesday.   I won’t rest assured until it is all official,  but it is refreshing to feel more hopeful about this most uncertain and undetermined future that we face.  Perhaps this is one small, redirecting step to guide us all to a steadier course.

 

Testing Your Mettle

Seven months of uncertainty. Seven months of speculation.  Seven months of  lock downs, self-isolation and social distancing.   Seven months of PPEs, masks and hand sanitizing.   Seven months of painting, daily walks and audiobooks.  Seven months of waiting.  Waiting for life to return to “normal”.   It’s looking more and more like that is not going to happen for a good long while.   The American election is Tuesday.   Uncertainty, civic unrest, political division.  The stink of it wafts all over the world and leaves its residue behind.  It seeps through the news, through social media, through the limited conversations one has in day to day life.   Waiting is mentally exhausting.   The unending arrival of “some day”,  “soon “ or “later” only highlights it’s absence.  I count my blessings, I know my fortunes are many.  I am safe.  I am healthy.   I am secure.  I am also waiting.   Waiting to make plans.  Waiting to have plans.  Waiting to follow through on plans.   Waiting to anchor my days to “the next” thing.  To have a goal.  To have something to focus my attention on beyond the routine that has become my daily existence.  I long for more purpose.  For an interaction or an appointment or a trip. I pray for a vaccine to end this pandemic.   I know that nothing lasts forever.   I have also never felt this uncertain about the future.  I don’t like this feeling.  

En plein air painting

 En plein air (pronounced [ɑ̃ plɛ.n‿ɛʁ]; French for "outdoors"), or plein air painting, is the act of painting outdoors.

Together, Apart

 Today was Murray’s funeral.   We did not attend due to Covid restrictions but in a seemingly fitting and appropriate fashion, Deed, Brenda and I marked the occasion together in Bredenbury.   I drove down this morning, picked Deed up and we had lunch with Brenda.  Deed made egg salad and canned ham sandwiches, sweet crinkled pickles, dainties and tea, so we had our small town lunch!  

It was a cold, windy day.   We took some lovely flowers out to the cemetery, reflected and decided that celebrating together/apart was typical of how we did most things as a family:   Mom/Dad/Deed/Brenda/me and Murray...even in his death.  We had a drink of whiskey as we watched a taping of his service and then Fran joined us for supper.

I’m glad we marked this day like this.  It was a fitting way to mark his passing.

Words Left Unsaid

Dear Murray,

I just wanted to drop a note to say hi and to tell you how sorry I am to hear about your recent health news.   I am sure this is a tough and uncertain time for you.   I hope you can spend lots of time with your loved ones and can fill your days doing  whatever you enjoy.

Things with me are good.   I am really enjoying retirement and am learning how to fill the much less-structured days.  I have been learning to do stained and fused glasswork and doing some watercolour painting.  I am really liking that.  I do lots of walking and listening to audiobooks.   It sure passes the walking time quickly!!  Think I’ll try cross country skiing this winter as it looks like I won’t be escaping it this year, which was my ultimate retirement goal!!  I spent last winter in San Diego and it was fantastic.  Sure hope I can get back there next year!  

I just wanted you to know that I I’ve been thinking of you and that I wish you well at this challenging time.   

Be well,

Bob

 

Last Day Of Summer

Change of season equals change of style!   Good-bye 8 month old beard.   Time for a change to s things up.   So, Saturday morning I bought a set of clipper and off it came.  

Then I drove to Yorkton for a long overdue visit with Deed and then I went to see Brenda on Sunday in Bredenbury.   My mental health needed a shot of family and a shake up of routine.   It served my purpose well.   It was just what I needed to do. 

It’s Been 6 Months

Wolf Blitzer just said it’s 6 months to the day since the WHO declared this Covid pandemic.
Dr. Fauci just said it’ll be a year before life goes back to how it was before the pandemic.
The Weather Channel just said it’s going to be an El Nina winter (extra cold).
That’s a lot to take in.

So 6 months from now:   there’ll be a vaccine, we’ll be in the downward slide of winter, spring will be nearer, Bill’s wedding will be over and the promise of travel should be, once again, a possibility.

I wonder how long my beard and hair will be by then!!

So today I cling to and appreciate the heat and light of this sunny,  29 degree Celsius day for I know that these kinds of day are soon to become more and more rare.   And, I try my damnedest to shift my mindset and focus on the many positives I have, like health and freedom and security and stability.

And I am reminded that, “This too, shall pass.”  🤞🏻🤞🏻

Musings of Life During A Pandemic

So.   It’s been six months.  Six.  Months.   Since I returned home from my winter in San Diego and the borders slammed shut behind me.   They are still closed.

And.   There is no end in sight.   Of it ending soon.  Of the border opening.   Of any semblance of life going back to the way it was before March.

It’s surreal.   Between the pandemic, the civil unrest and the lead up to the election in November in the USA, it feels like we are in the midst of a huge shift in how life has been.   It’s enough to force you to reevaluate life and all its meanings.

I cannot even begin to put into words how glad I am to be retired.   I can’t imagine returning to work next week amid and among all this uncertainty and crisis.   I am thankful for my safe, little life.   Yes, I am disappointed that I won’t be able to travel for an extended period of time.  But, I have a safe, happy home; a routine of daily morning coffee, puzzles, paintings, walking/audiobooks that I enjoy.  I, and my family, are healthy.  

Now, once the weather shifts from gloriously hot and humid August we’ve been having, and the cloak of winter starts to set in, I know it’s going to take a much more consorted effort on my part to maintain this healthy outlook.   But, I foresee cross country skiing and learning the guitar as potential channels for focus.   

I won’t have to get up in the dark.   Or go out in the cold (involuntarily).   It is far from ideal and my dream of never experiencing another Saskatchewan winter post-retirement.  BUT....I am safe.  And secure.   And healthy.

And right about now, there is nothing really more important than that.

Try To Leave Things Better Than You Found Them

I’m just home from a week away with family.  Last Monday I went to the lake for a few days with Deed and Fran and Lynn and the kids.  It was great.   Got to babysit the kids for the first few days with Deed and Fran while Lynn was away visiting.  It was HOT!  We watched movies, played in the lake, barbecued, had “happy hour”, watched movies, did crafts.  It was exactly what I needed.   I cut their grass for 3 hours before I left on Thursday to help Brenda with some yard work.   I cut grass, trimmed the hedges and trees.  I hadn’t seen Brenda since December!   It was so nice to spend time with them all.   The summer days are becoming more and more precious as the August days tick away.   I am so lucky to have such great sisters.  ❤️❤️

Sideline Hustle*. *tm MH 😂

I was asked by Celeste from Fallbrook, California to paint pictures of her “Max” who died 6 months ago.  No pressure!!😳. I mailed them off to her today.

My Latest Endeavor

Colourful, watercolour pets. 

  This has been my “thing” for the last month or so. 

  Xander, Kipper, Cookie, Phil, Stella, Clive and Lois, Lolly and Gibson.

Fun.